No bye for you

 Pari is leaving for US on 20^th March 2010! All pandus are happy for him, as it is his much-awaited wish… He is everything in the gang.. The Don, we tease him behind his back! (Sorry Mottu and Budhu, to reveal the secret nickname)  We love him for his concern even on trivial matters, we love him for his short temper, we love him for his sulking for not calling him or visiting his place, we love him for his teasing Pandu, we love him to be the emotional, technical and financial support and we love him for being the best friend of us- The most understanding, loving and caring pandu.

You might have noticed my pulling his legs in my previous posts. That was only one side of the coin because I never had a chance to get to know him more and my writings are always influenced by other pandus. I wish if they could leave a comment on it. Before writing this post I received a call from him. We talked for a while. He sounded low and told me that he did not want this opportunity so soon or at least not for a long term.

Dear Pari,

None of the Pandus including Pandu, Budhu, Mottu, and your dearest friend Mullu are not so excited leaving you for a long term. It may sound weird but true that they choke back their tears when they talk and hide the “No” to you behind a smile. They are going to miss their best friend and I am going to miss my Hookah mate. We love you and never want to say a bye!

The mutka hunt

My Hindi is pathetic! Most of the time I become a laughing stock for my friends with my South Indian "embedded" Hindi. The language is a real challenge for me in its gender differentiation, similar sounding words and authentic pronunciation of alphabet. I decided to speak only in English or Malayalam, which is better for others and me as well. So I can avoid taking the risk of being a stupid. But that decision made me even more stupefied just because of one big time stupid, who thinks herself as an encyclopedia.
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“It’s matka, Pandu not matki”, I told. “Piggy, it is matki. In Goa also we call it matki” She replied. Pandu and I were on the way to buy an earthen pot to store drinking water. Somebody told us storing water in earthen pot would keep the water fresh and cool.
 “But Teddy told me it’s called matka in Hindi. Or we can just ask them ‘pot’”, I said. “Your English won’t work here! It’s the place of Marathi manus. Forget Marathi, learn Hindi atleast”, Pandu made her face. I kept quiet thinking that I am walking with the greatest scholar on earth.
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We reached the great street of Kasturi and looked around. No idea where we get the “matki”. “This is the problem if we depend on boys too much, we won’t be able to do anything alone” Pandu said. “Not we but you” I struck back.   
“C’mon, we shall ask her”, Pandu pointed to one female who was selling subzi on the footpath. We went to her and Pandu asked her “Maushi, Matki kuthe melel?” She pointed to another lady who was sitting next to her. We reached the second female and repeated the same question. She asked us “Pav or aada?” We were puzzled at her reply. She started packing 250gms of sprouted pulses without even looking at us. “Nahin.. yeh wala matki nahin, pani wala matki, maushi” Pandu drew an imaginary pot in the air. This time the lady got a blow. I interrupted “maushi, pani rakhne ke liye matka”. “ho ho matka..aap matka dekh rahe hein kya?? Aapko sambhaji chowk tak jaana padegi, yahan se nahin milegi”. I goggled at Pandu. “Ok. Ok. They call it “matka” here. Come, Let’s catch an auto” Pandu turned her back to me.
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Evening is beautiful at our place but not the people. These late hours make many of them eccentric. And our auto driver was not so different. He is the ugliest creature on earth we have ever seen. He stared us fiercely for our intruding to his international summit with his friends. A red colour fountain gushed from his mouth and splashed on the road; a few drop spilt on my feet as well. I stepped back in disgust. Pandu and he spoke in Marathi and she signaled me to get in the auto. I asked how much is the fare. “It’s only 50 that’s fine” She replied. I got a shock “He asked Rs. 50 to drop us to the next junction which is not even worth 20 and you agreed?” “Then what? Are you going to bargain with him?”  I pushed her aside and asked him the charge again in my broken Hindi (I would have killed her had she laughed at me that time). He said “Pannas, Madam, nahin to aap dusara ghadi dekhiye” “No bhayya nahin pannas… we shall.. oopps hum denge pachees rupees” I managed. He “no no madam no tentypife.. pifty”. My patience has gone now “Pandu, let’s go by walk. The place is very near I know”. Pandu opened her mouth “Elephanto it’s too late to take the risk. Two girls.. at this time…to that area… no chance..If Pari comes to know this, he will kill me. Pls let’s go by auto, I will pay”. I whispered “Shut up idiot, let’s see if he reduces the charge. We are no way going by walk”.
The auto driver cleared his voice and said “Theek hai Madam, tees rupees!! chalega?”  We both suspected his sudden change. But felt all right thinking that the place is not so far from Kasturi. “Ok” we said and got in.
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“My foot! Why the hell he allowed his friend also to get in? Something is fishy Elephanto?” “Don’t worry, it’s an auto not aeroplane” I consoled her and myself. The auto was going at a snail’s pace and worse than that the auto driver and his soul mate were sitting together and chatting about the war between he and his brother in law.  “Oh my god, when we will reach?” I was irritated. “Pandu, ask him to go a little fast”. “Bhayya thoda jaldi jaoge kya?” She asked. “haan haan madam” he chewed his tobacco and made a weird smile. He raised his accelerator. But the auto did not seem taking the speed. He again got to into the sasu- bahu discussion with his comrade. After 5 minutes his friend got down and we both sighed in relief thinking that he will drive fast. He took a left turn and Pandu noticed maktas kept on roadside. We asked him to stop and got down.
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The best part of the story is the bargaining between matka seller and auto driver. The villain turned out to be an angel. He got us the matka that too with a tap for Rs 60/-, instead of its market price of Rs. 90/-
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Well, the next adventure was on the way back. Actually, we did not expect him to wait for us but he did. He was praising himself for getting us the matka at a cheap rate. He was happier that he got two preys for the time being. He got into a conversation with Pandu. (It was originally in Marathi) 
He: To live in Pune, you should learn Marathi, I am basically from Kolhapur and now it has been 10 years in Pune
We: hmm
He: But you know I have property in Kolhapur. Everybody from my family and neighborhood sold out their land. All are stupids only
Pandu: Why?
He: You must know there is an airport coming in Kolhapur. I don’t want to sell my property. If the govt wants to make airport, let them go and find some other place.
Pandu: yeah yeah
He: They really don’t know who I am. They cannot make any airport in Kolhapur without my property. It’s in the center only
We looked at each other.
He: (To Pandu) It’s good you know Marathi. Where are you from?
Pandu: Kolhapur
He: Ho Ho I expected. I knew it from the beginning you are a Marathi. What about this girl?
I: I am from Kashmir
He made a dirty face
He: Hmm that’s why you don’t know Marathi. You all Northis come here and don’t even bother to learn the language. (To Pandu) I understood she is not from Maharashtra from her appearance.(as if i look like a Kashmiri huh!)
We reached Kasturi.
I looked at Pandu. She was fed up with the Marathi lecture. First time I saw her tired of a conversation. Usually she gets other people tired.  We got down. He said, “I can drop you gals home”. Pandu screamed “Noooooooooooo….thanks.. we shall go by walk. It’s alright.. Good night”. I gave Rs. 30/- to him but he took only Rs. 25/- “Jai Maharashtra” he proudly said to Pandu. She tried to smile.  
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We were on the way home with the new matka. Pandu was silent and her face resembled the matka in my hands. I asked her “How do you feel?”. She retorted “About what?” I giggled. She asked me again “What?” I replied, “This is exactly how other people feel when you talk absolute crap”